Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Tough Times

It's been a very tough week around here. LO has been sick since a week ago Sunday. She's just now feeling better today, so that's been about 8 days of her coughing, puking, running a fever, sneezing, coughing and puking some more. It's been awful. And, not surprisingly, Chase picked up a little bit of it the bug over the past week as well. He's been sleeping much more than usual, not eating as well, and had a bout or two of the pukes. Luckily he hasn't had a temp, but with the massive molars he has cutting through along with just feeling pretty crappy, he's been less than his usual, cheery self (understandably).

Of course it goes without saying that I have been miserable since Travis took a turn for the worse and left us last weekend. He was such a gorgeous, happy boy and I wish more than anything that I had a chance to meet him in person. You can see his bubbly personality in his pictures and the oh-so-many adorable faces that boy would make! My heart is heavy for Nicole and Roger and their entire family as they are experiencing such a devastating loss that no family should ever have to face. I can't help but keep putting myself in their shoes, imagining the feelings of pain and anguish and the constant "WHY?!" that I imagine they must be thinking. I try to hold on to my boy that much closer, but I can't separate the feelings of gratitude and thanksgiving for my sweet son from the grief and despair I'm feeling over the loss of Travis. I know we'll never understand these things on this side of Heaven, but oh how I wish we had a tiny glimpse into the plans God has for each of us. My heart aches over this incredible loss. My heart aches at knowing this probably won't be the last time a precious HLHSer we've grown to know and love will be taken from this earth all too soon. My heart aches at the fear of losing my son.

On top of everything else, we got the call regarding Chase's cath date last week. Now this is looming over my head, bringing along with it all the fears and worries and concerns of putting him through another procedure, anesthesia, intubation, hospital stay, etc. It's so scary. I know God has a plan and will watch over us, but not knowing what lies ahead is so frightening, more so now than ever.

Ugh. Sorry I haven't been around out here much lately. As you now know, it's not been the greatest week or two. Please just remember to keep the DiCarlo family in your thoughts and prayers. They need an outpouring of our support more now than ever.