My heart was shattered at the loss of little Travis DiCarlo. There was nothing more I wanted than to be there with his family and friends to celebrate his life on Sunday, March 6th. But the celebration was in their hometown of San Diego. As in, California. Whoa. That's a long drive from South Carolina! See, I'm not a flyer. I don't know why, other than the constant fear of my flight plummeting to the ground. Ya, I guess really it's just that. So not a flyer.
But my heart ached to be with Nicole and throw my arms around her. So I started to think about it.
I emailed super-awesome heart mom to Bodie, Amy, who lives in LA and was obviously planning to attend the celebration, and asked for her thoughts on where to fly into, where to stay, etc. (I guess if you live anywhere in California, you automatically know everything about all of California). Well imagine my surprise when darling Amy suggested I fly into LAX and stay with her family and ride to the celebration service with her! Whaa?? She's so wonderful, right? So it helped that I no longer had to concern myself with hotels or rental cars. It made me want to go even more, now for the added bonus of staying with one of my very own Sisters by Heart. Not to mention the fact that The Amazing Sara, another SBH heart mom to Townes, also lives in LA less than 10 minutes from Amy. Visiting with two SBH heart moms? I was really feeling led to go now!
But I don't fly. I just don't.
But I figured I'd email wonderful SBH heart mom to Aly, Jenny, and tell her I was considering the idea of maybe going, just to see if maybe--just maybe--she'd jump on board, too. I would wait to hear back from her.
Saturday night, a week before Travis' celebration service, I sat on the couch next to hubs and had him walk me through the Delta website to pick flights, etc. I had entered my credit card info and just had to click "Purchase." But the fear. OH, the durn fear! It kept me from following through with the plan. Ugh! My heart was aching and torn! I wanted to be there for Trav's service. I wanted to finally meet some of my SBH heart moms in person. I wanted to get past that fear!
But I couldn't.
The next morning, I was sitting at the piano, waiting for church to begin. Imagine my surprise when a portion of the Call to Worship that was read as the service was starting essentially said, and I'm paraphrasing here, but, "Hey, dummie! Why in the world are you worried about the possibility of your flight plummeting to the earth a week from now?! Don't you know today has enough to worry about? Let God handle what lies ahead -- not you!"
It spoke to me, as you might imagine.
Our pastor spoke on Matthew 6:24:
"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. (emphasis mine) God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.Wow.
How about that? It seemed to me that God was telling me to go. He was telling me not to worry about the flight. He was telling me that He would take care of me.
I left that service knowing what I needed to do.
And yet God wasn't done confirming in my heart that this trip was His will for me. My heart mom friend Jenny? The one I had emailed? She wrote back that afternoon saying, essentially, she too had wanted to be there for Trav's service, but it was only a sort of "pipe dream" until she saw my email. Knowing that I was also considering the trip confirmed for her that she needed to go as well.
Isn't God amazing?
He calmed my heart. He helped me over a major fear. He took my worries and replaced them with confidence, assurance and peace.
I booked my flights that Sunday afternoon and started planning to be away from my husband and kids for the FIRST TIME for three full days.
The night before I would leave, I tucked my kids into bed and kissed them for the last time knowing it would be three full days before having the chance to do so again. I read to LO the book she picked out, which happened to be the story of Noah's Ark. When I was done with the last page, I closed the book, set it down, and proceeded to tell her it was time to pray. For some unknown reason, she absolutely insisted that I read what was written on the back of the book. I told her it was nothing and we needed to say our prayers. She insisted again. I begrudgingly picked the book up and began to read. It was the last two lines that got me...
...learn that God protects those who love him--no matter how scary the ride!
Part II coming soon!