Thursday, November 29, 2012

Update Time!

Well, okay... it's been a bit too long since my last post, but as most of you can agree, this is a busy season of the year! In addition to life and work and everything else, we just spent about a week in Florida for a family vacation! There's so much to talk about and so many pictures to share, but for now, I owe you a little update on a little something else.

Next Tuesdays marks week 18 of my pregnancy with baby #3. It's been about 5 weeks since LO and Chase shared a little message with you guys about our big news. I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to talk about it here!

So let's see... hubs and I always wanted to have one of each -- boy and girl -- and boy were we ever blessed with LO and Chase!!! Those kids are the light of my life and I am so grateful to be their mommy! Once things settled into a new normal with Chase (meaning after his first two heart surgeries and once we were out of the mandatory "protective bubble" stage), we realized our family just didn't quite feel complete yet. The idea of a third child crossed our minds, but neither of us were 100% set on the idea. We definitely weren't against it, but were not ready to move forward. Then in November 2011 we purchased our new home, and had the joy of four months of dealing with building it and eventually moving in. Then settling in. And that last part took a LOT longer than I had ever expected! Sure, all of our belongings were "moved in" but it didn't feel like our home until I was able to make the time to make it ours -- hanging photos on the walls, purchasing the necessary furniture to fill it up (we went from about 1,500 sq. ft. to over 3,200 sq. ft.), window treatments, etc. Again, this took way longer than I had expected!

So fast-forward a few months, and we started to discuss the family dynamic again. Things still just didn't feel complete. So we talked about #3 again. And this time, we both felt we were ready. It was time.

Within a few short months, we found ourselves expecting baby #3! Of course we were overjoyed, but I'll admit I was a bit apprehensive as well. I clearly recall enjoying every moment of the first 20 weeks of my pregnancy with Chase, until we got his CHD diagnosis, and things were so scary and unbelievably difficult for the second half of my pregnancy. I mean, how can you not dwell on the "what if's" when your baby would be born with only half a functioning heart? How could you think about onesies, diapers and pacis when you have to focus on relocating your family 4 hours from home, worrying about your child's birth and first open-heart surgery while maintaining some sort of normalcy for your 2-year-old daughter?? Ugh. I always knew if we had another baby, I'd experience the exact opposite of my pregnancy with Chase: I'd spend the first 20 weeks worried out of my mind about my baby's health, then (HOPEFULLY) spend the last half of the pregnancy looking forward to the birth of a healthy baby boy or girl. And I guess that sort of sums up where I'm at now.

As I mentioned, we're almost 18 weeks pregnant. In 2 weeks, I have an appointment at the same Maternal-Fetal Specialist we saw when we received Chase's diagnosis. This appointment will include a full anatomy scan (boy or girl!?) as well as an in-depth look at the baby's entire body/organs/etc. We are hoping and praying we will receive a wonderful report at this appointment! A few weeks later, we'll return to this office again to meet with Chase's pediatric cardiologist for a fetal echo on the baby's heart. Again, we're praying for a healthy report at this appointment as well!

I'll admit that while I am a bit apprehensive about the baby's health, I'm not totally consumed by it. And this actually surprises me! I can't tell if it's just because life keeps me so busy with my current little ones or what? The negative side of me thinks that I'm not allowing myself to get too attached to the baby because of the fear of the unknown... but the rest of me just thinks this is what it's like when you're resting in faith that God is in control. He knows my heart; He hears my prayers. We are fully trusting in Him and are praying for GREAT news at our upcoming appointment on 12/11.

As far as how I've been feeling this time around? Ohmahgah the exhaustion and fatigue during the first trimester pretty much kept me camped out on the couch during all waking hours of the day. It was straight up unbelievable! I had no idea it could be so bad! Obviously caring for 2 kids, managing the  house, working a job and everything else on my plate was taking its toll! Seriously. I cannot put into words how awful it was! I would send LO off to school with hubs and crash on the couch until I had to get up to make Chase some lunch. I'd pile dirty dishes into the sink -- without so much as a quick rinse. I all but refused to empty the dishwasher and certainly never took the time to load it. Poor hubs! I wasn't cooking at ALL, the house was a horrible mess, and it was all I could do to function on a daily basis. Oh, the fatigue!!! Luckily, as with both LO and Chase, I didn't have any real nausea to speak of. No real morning sickness -- just an occasional feeling of wanting to puke but thankfully not doing so. ;)

Now that I'm into my second trimester, I'm feeling much better, have much more energy, and actually feel like a contributing member of society again! I'm looking forward to our appointment next month so we will know if we're having another boy or girl so I can start getting the nursery ready. There's so much to do and so much to be thankful for!

Thank you to those of you who have asked about how things are going and have gently nudged me on Facebook or via text to share more about this pregnancy. Talking and writing about it makes it more real and it's definitely something I need to get used to! Thank you in advance for your prayers concerning our upcoming appointments... we covet them and are so grateful for those of you who have been with us over the long haul! Your support means so very much to me!!!

Coming soon: lots of pics from our Walt Disney World vacation!!!!! :)