Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Five Months!

Happy 5 Months, baby E!


After last night's late-night vent session about time and the lack of it these days, I'm trying desperately to get myself together today. This has included a much-needed albeit minor update to the blog design for fall, the inclusion of baby #3 in the header graphic (welcome, little E!) and a 2-weeks-late 5 month photo session with the little guy this morning.

I'll admit this time and again: it is NOT an easy task for 1 person, 1 baby and 1 50mm lens to make magic happen. Hence the complete lack of a smile on the little guy's face. I tried to get Chase to help me make him smile, but that wasn't half as much fun as playing on the iPad, so I lost out there. If you know how to make a baby smile while simultaneously taking said baby's photo, I would LOVE to hear it!

Just a little recap on where we are 5 (and a half) months into things with baby E. He's SUPER AWESOME in the baby sleeping/eating departments. All of our kiddos have done well with these areas at an early age and I promise we haven't taken it for granted! Sleeping a good 8-10 hours at night around 2 months, then stretching out to a good 10-12 hours by 4 months is nothing short of a blessing! Especially when you have bedtime and morning school routines for two older kiddos to contend with! And he's been a great eater, as evidenced by the massive 15 1/2 pounds of baby pictured above. We're starting to settle into a feeding schedule -- about 4 times per day -- and I couldn't be more ecstatic that he's a nursing champ and that my supply has kept up with him! My long-time readers can remember the significant milk supply issues I had with LO and Chase, so I consider it a HUGE blessing to be in such a great place with him (not to mention the amazing frozen stash in our recently-purchased chest freezer!).

I admit I haven't been working terribly hard on getting him to roll over, sit up, etc. I know these are milestones he should be reaching around this age, and don't get me wrong -- he's close. He has rolled over two or three times (tummy to back), but I'm just not in a hurry to see this guy grow up. I guess that's pretty normal for the youngest/last baby (or so I'm told). For now I'm just enjoying those squishy cheeks and plenty of love and squeezes with my sweet baby.

Life as a stay-at-home/part-time-working/full-time-PTA-volunteering mama is HARD WORK. Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise! At times I wish I worked a full-time job because it would eliminate a LOT of the "stuff" on my plate as a SAHM, but I wouldn't trade these special years for anything! I'm learning firsthand how quickly time passes (did I mention that little guy above will be HALF A YEAR OLD in TWO WEEKS!?) and I'm feverishly considering my options to allow me to put a greater focus on my children and family during these special years that will be over in a fleeting moment. Too many distractions and not enough quality time. That's what life boils down to for me these days. And believe you me I won't stop 'til I figure out how to balance it all... even if my FAMILY is the only thing left standing in my new & improved day-to-day routine!

(Hopefully) coming soon to the blog: The past few months in PICTURES. We've been up to a lot these past few months, and it's time to share with y'all (Read: document our life here on the blog so I have something to refer to when updating baby books and so my old-lady brain doesn't forget all the fun we've had)!!! :)

Thanks for hanging in there and being patient with me and my lack of updates, friends!

Time

Time.

What a rare commodity. Seems I've been running short on it here lately.

And by lately, I mean the past 6 months or so.

My head is swirling with a zillion thoughts on how to get back some of this precious gift of time.

Give up my part-time job?

Walk away from my position with the PTA?

Get another mom to room parent my 1st grader's class?

Quit one of the few church ministries I've always been called to serve in? ((Oh, wait -- I already did that last month.))

:(

There are so many things I need more time for.

Time for my family.

Time to blog the events and milestones I don't want to forget.

Time to play with my kids.

Time to update my almost 6-month-old's (!!!) baby book.

Time to sew my kids' homemade Halloween costumes / dress up play clothes.

Time to clean my house. It's seriously filthy and overlooked.

Time to plan my precious boy's 4th birthday party.

Time to pray and pray and pray and pray some more over Chase's next heart surgery that will take place most likely in May.

Time to update the blog about Chase's cardiology appointment earlier today.

Time to cook healthy meals for my family.

Time to grocery shop.

Time to spend in God's word.

Time to actually date my husband (without 3 kids & a drive-thru on the agenda).

The list goes on and on and on. I'm sure every mom can relate. It's not easy to balance work, family, volunteering and other commitments that require our time. I give kudos to those moms who were wired with the ability to work a full-time job while raising a family and still manage everything else with ease. I'll fully admit I am NOT wired that way.

If you would've asked teenage me what I wanted to be when I grew up, the answer was always the same:

A wife and a mother.

I'm there now. I've arrived. But I'm letting too many distractions keep me from doing my best at these two incredibly important roles that I've waited so long to fulfill.

I find myself missing out on the two weeknights of quality family time that I'm home each week by sitting at my computer, putting the needs of my daughter's school ahead of my family.

I find myself missing out on the ministry opportunity of singing in the choir each Wednesday because I'm so tired and overwhelmed by life to find the strength or willingness to go.

I find myself missing out on the relaxing yet productive Saturdays at home with my family because I'm commuting and working for 10 of those precious hours every Saturday.

I find myself missing out of the joy of worshipping with my family and setting a good example for our kids by attending church on Sundays because I'm too tired from working the day before and am just so desperate for some "downtime" with my family.

I find myself missing out on sharing in special school events with my children because although I volunteered to help with both LO & Chase's field trips, I just realized tonight that they are BOTH next Friday.

With Chase's first 4th birthday party that night.

Followed by Chase's second 4th birthday party the following morning (What? If anyone deserves two parties, it's this Rock Star Heart Warrior of mine!).

Whoa.

If you've read this far, way to go! Regular readers will know I always keep it real here. I'm being incredibly open and transparent with my struggles tonight -- that's for sure! If for no other reason, it's a wee bit liberating to me to put my thoughts out here so I can come back later and see that maybe it wasn't really as bad as it felt like at the time. Maybe?? And brain dumping on my blog has always been a good source of release for my crazy. ;)

So thanks to those of you who made it to the end. I covet your prayers as I work through some difficult decisions in the days ahead. Your support means so much!

Now to try and fit in some time for a few hours of much-needed sleep.

G'nite!


- Posted from my beloved iPhone 5