Thursday, April 24, 2014

Quarantine: Day 3 (The One Where I Complain... a lot!)

Hmmph! Day 3 didn't go as planned... not by a long shot! I gotta tell ya, for some reason, I feel like I have a ginormous target on my back and everyone is coming out of the woodwork to shoot at me. It's stuff from the mundane annoyances to the "oh crap this is a really big deal" kind of stuff. It's extra frustrating because I've been doing everything in my power since we learned of Chase's Fontan surgery date to ensure by this time... about 2 weeks out from surgery (but preferably a month out)... my focus would be on my son, and ONLY my son.

But alas, the world won't have it be so! Let's recap -- in no particular order -- some of the drama, so I can remember all of the battles I had to get through before I could focus on being the mom I need to be for my son as he prepares for his third heart surgery:

1. I was in a car accident on April 7th. It was not in ANY way my fault. A woman pulled out making an illegal turn, right into the side of my Sienna. I obtained her insurance info and we had an amicable discussion after it took place. I filed a claim with her insurance about an hour later. Fast-forward 2 1/2 weeks later... she will not respond to the calls from her insurance company. They cannot locate her or get into contact with her. This means they can't assume liability for the accident. They will continue to try for 30 days. At that point?? I HAVE TO FILE IT WITH MY OWN INSURANCE, and am subject to an$200-$500 deductible for the repairs to my vehicle caused by someone else. Plus the joy of arranging a rental (x3 car seats) for upwards of a week while they replace the sliding passenger door on my Sienna. I don't get it! It frustrates me that this happened TO me and yet I'm the one who has to pay -- in every sense of the word. Of course this one will be on the docket for after we return from Chase's surgery. I'm praying the door doesn't completely fail or fall off before then!

2. Ugh. This one doesn't warrant an explanation, but let's just say you have someone such as myself with an earnest, genuine desire to HELP someone with a situation, only to be blindsided by the most inappropriate and insensitive response I've ever seen. I learned a valuable, eye-opening lesson on why people choose not to volunteer, so I consider that a win!

3. Geez. LO's school plan. We're taking her with us when we travel for Chase's surgery next month. Therefore she'll miss several days of school. I first approached the Vice Principal at her school in AUGUST 2013 and was told it "wouldn't be an issue" since it's for medical reasons. Then, beginning in February, I attempted to confirm with the Principal what we need to do to ensure the situation is handled appropriately according to the school's administrative guidelines. I don't have any desire to get into the details (emails we've sent with no response, multiple face-to-face meetings, my contacting the Director of Attendance and the Superintendent of the entire school district and much, much more!) only to be told YESTERDAY that they want to meet with us on FRIDAY to discuss our "requests." As in, one week before her absences are slated to begin. I've been in contact with this school for EIGHT MONTHS and they wait until ONE WEEK before her leave begins to discuss it with us.

Not happening.

Long story short? We now have the privilege of withdrawing her from public school, paying for an annual membership with a homeschool association (that we will use for one month), purchasing curriculum for her to complete one month of her 1st grade year, then placing the added burden of ensuring she does her "homeschooling" on her unsuspecting grandparents who will be keeping her and E while we're at the hospital with Chase. All this so we have a paper trail that confirms she successfully completed the 1st grade ((sorry, Gramma, if you're reading this as we haven't gotten to the point of letting you in on all of the latest developments in this drama!)). So wow. This is all dumped on my plate after I've been trying for months to get a simple resolution from her school. I am so overwhelmed with this I can't even tell you.

4. Preparing a family of 5 to relocate 4 hours away from home for a month. You'd think not much would be involved in that, huh? Lol! Packing lists, shopping, packing, putting a hold on the mail, ensuring we have everything we need for a baby, a now homeschooled 6-year-old, and an undetermined length of a hospital stay for our son. Oh, and stuff for me as well (thankfully hubs manages his own packing). Everything from 1st grade curriculum books, to a pack n' play to a treat box of toys for our son to have while dealing with the recovery from heart surgery and all of the pokes, prods, echos, x-rays, chest tubes, pacing wires, IVs, fluid, medications and everything else that consists of.

5. Chase's 3rd heart surgery. Does this one really require any elaboration or discussion? Obviously unless you've been in my shoes, you have no idea whatsoever how to prepare for this... how to live with this. It's too much to put into words.

6. My baby officially turns ONE in 6 days. For all intents and purposes, he will be our LAST baby. As you can imagine, there are a lot of emotions that come along with this milestone for a mommy. My baby will no longer be a baby. This is a big deal! Throw some added hormones into the mix and this alone is enough to turn a mama into a basket case!

7. Related to #6 above... I'm still nursing E in the morning and at night. Essentially 8AM and 8PM everyday. I've never been this successful with breastfeeding the other two, so this is a HUGE deal to me. Now, imagine I'm at the hospital with Chase and not at the rental house with E. How will that work exactly? My only option is to pump at the hospital and have hubs courier it to the house. That means spending time away from Chase to ensure I can keep up with nursing for E. I'm afraid I won't be able to make the necessary commitment to pumping with everything else that will be going on, and the decision to stop nursing will be made for me. I don't like being in this situation! On the one hand, I'm happy we made it through his first year. On the other hand, had we not had a heart surgery to contend with, I would've wanted to continue with how things are and continue nursing E until I made the choice to stop. Again, imagine all of the hormones and emotions in play here. Then add #s 1-6 above to the mix! Can you see why I'm having such a hard time right now with all of this coming at me at once?

Sigh. I'm not really trying to vent with a "woe is me" kind of vibe here. I'm just sharing my heart with my trusted blog readers while also documenting this time in my life so I can read through it later and see how God brought me through it all. Those of you who have followed my writings for any length of time know I keep it pretty real on here. I'm lucky to have this outlet, it makes a great "journal" for me to refer back to and I'm so thankful for the prayerful support and love of both my family & friends who know us personally, as well as those of you who I've never met but still support us through your thoughts and prayers.

On a brighter note, we did have a few moments of fun yesterday!



E's last bottle from my frozen stash. It was a bittersweet moment for sure!


This one is technically from Day 4 (today), but LO looked so cute I couldn't help but share!


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