Tuesday, May 9, 2017

34 Weeks!

Okay, so with my previous pregnancies, I did a relatively decent job of documenting the journey here on the blog. Unfortunately, I've found myself a bit overcommitted to all.the.things. lately and my blog has taken a major backseat. Which means that documenting my pregnancy with baby #4 has been less than stellar. I'm sorry, baby boy! As a fellow fourth child, the last thing I want is for you to feel forgotten about!

So without further ado, I am going to {attempt to} document the remaining weeks of this pregnancy!

Week and day: 34 weeks, 2 days

Belly Button in or out: Still in. It always stays in. It's never NOT been in. I don't expect that to change.

Wedding rings on or off: Still on! I really haven't had any noticeable swelling during this pregnancy, so that's awesome!

Food cravings: As if I'm allowed fun pregnancy cravings with the wonderful insulin-controlled gestational diabetes... Ugh! But it hasn't stopped me from craving cake, cookies, donuts, brownies... basically any sort of baked good or dessert. It's such a terrible life I'm living! haha! Thankfully, I don't give into those cravings very often at all. And if I do, I'm always sure to push several units of insulin beforehand! For the most part, though, I'm super happy staring down a ginormous bacon cheddar burger with cheese curds, or a sizzling medium steak with some sautéed veggies. I'm not missing the potatoes (baked, french fried, mashed, etc.) as much as I thought I would. But I AM missing the cereal and milk LIKE IT'S MY JOB!!!

Food aversions: None.

Nausea: None! Hurray!!

Energy level: My energy level continues to be relatively solid! This is good, considering I am 34 weeks pregnant in my very late 30s. Go, me! :)

Weight gain: It hasn't been too bad! I haven't been paying a TON of attention to the number because it's just that: a number. As long as it isn't creeping up into crazytown, I'm good. I did happen to notice at my appointment today that I have only gained 4 lbs. over the past 2 months. And I'm quite certain at least 1 lb. of that went to the baby, so, I'm pretty content with 3 lbs. in 2 months!! ;)

Mood: Super excited... somewhat apprehensive. I still have a LOT to get done before he arrives, and it seems I'm crossing items off that list slower than I'd like. The ridiculous sunburn I'm still recovering from may have something to do with that. (ugh)

Maternity clothes: 24/7. Because, really.

Size of baby: According to BabyCenter, this week he now weighs about 4 3/4 pounds (about the size of a cantaloupe) and is almost 18 inches long.

Next appointment: I had an OB appointment this morning to do a biophysical profile ultrasound (BPP) and see the doc, and have another appointment on Friday to do the same thing again. Basically, I'll be going twice a week from now on until delivery day.

What I've been up to: I have been recovering from an INSANELY ABSURD sunburn from our Hilton Head vacation last week. It's been 9 days and my shins are still glowing red, sore to touch, and swell up when I stand for too long. UGH. I spent 3 straight days in bed last week, and was barely functional for my birthday on Saturday, but made some solid improvement on Sunday. It was a SUPER busy day with my sweet LO's baptism!!! (post coming soon), lunch with the family, and a photography session that evening. I was shocked I made it through everything! Yesterday was a long day as well, capped off with an awesome Diaper Shower with my lovely CC mamas, but I paid the price when I got home just after 10 PM. My ankles were swollen bigger than I have EVER seen them in all of my life. Obviously I need to give my slow-recovering self more time to slowly recover from that sunburn!

Arrival plan: The game plan is to schedule an induction at 39 weeks, which is exactly what I've done with my previous three, so no surprises here! I'm looking at June 13th as a possible date, assuming there is room in Labor & Delivery at the hospital. That is 35 days away, people. THIRTY-FIVE DAYS!!! I'm so excited but I'm trying to enjoy every second since this is our last time going through this process.

I had planned to include a picture of my 34 weeks pregnant self, but I'm pretty much just too lazy to make that happen at 11:43 PM. I'll do better next week -- I promise! ;)

Baby Shower for #4!

I'm several weeks overdue on sharing this post, but these days, I'm totally okay with the "better late than never" cliché.

On April 6th, my dearest and closest friend, along with my amazing mother, threw an incredible baby shower to welcome baby #4! It was so beautiful and I couldn't help but take a TON of pictures throughout the evening. There were so many special touches that made this such a memorable night! I couldn't be more grateful and blessed to have these two women in my life, and to have the opportunity to gather together with so many friends and family to enjoy delicious food and plenty of fellowship as we start to prepare for baby's arrival.

We had plenty of food, which included barbecue chicken and ribs, courtesy of hubs, and a huge spread of deliciousness, coordinated by my party co-hosts. We enjoyed our fellowship, delicious cake, and lots of adorable baby goodies!

Here's a recap in pictures...

Just look at the beautiful details!

Sweet baby boy!

Love the arrows!

So cute!

Love this verse!


Such a YUMMY cake! I seriously gave myself an extra shot of insulin to prepare for a big ol' slice of this deliciousness! And it was sooooooooo worth it!

How adorable is this?! I'm taking it to the hospital to put on our door in the recovery room. So sweet!

Just look at those tiny baby feet!!!!!! Awwww!!

It's not a party unless you get a few pics of the FOOD! hahahaha! So much yummy food!!

Lots of baby goodies! What an incredible blessing that my little one is loved so much already!

A MAJOR THANK YOU to my dear friend and my mama for such an incredible evening of celebration for baby #4! I'm so grateful and so blessed!!!

Keeping It OhSoVery Real

===I'll originally wrote this post several weeks ago, but stumbled across it tonight in my drafts, and figured I ought to post it if for no other reason that to serve as a reminder for me to reflect back on in the months and years ahead.===

Y'all. It's 4:32 PM as I'm starting to write this post, and I just woke up from a 3-hour Sunday afternoon nap. And it was heavenly! I wish I could say this has been the norm for me, now in my 3rd trimester with baby #4, but sadly, I haven't had quite as many nap opportunities as I'd like. Such a shame, no?

Today I felt compelled to share a little glimpse of what these past few days have taught me. In our Sunday School class this morning, we were asked, "Where did you see God show up this week?" It didn't take long for me to think of several of the ways He showed up in my life this week. My wheels started turning and I found myself compelled to write this post. So buckle up, friends! It's about to get real over here!

God has been working in my heart and life in a very specific way over the past year. And let me tell you -- He's had His work cut out for Him to get through to me in this specific area. Let's just say I have had a tendency to commit, commit, and overcommit myself -- in many areas -- and sometimes to my own detriment. Okay, in ALL areas. I love to serve. God created me with a servant's heart. And I feel He has gifted me in more ways than I am deserving of, which makes it even more apparent to me that I should live to serve Him and others by using those gifts. And for thirty-COUGH-something years -- definitely from my late teens until now -- I have done just that. Maybe with a few blips here and there where I might have turned down a service opportunity or two, but for the most part, living to serve. And loving every minute of it.

Just think about it. As a teenager, I had free time. As a young, single, working professional, I had free time. In spades. Even as a newly-married woman, and then a first-time mom, I still had time. And I didn't have to really even think about anything -- serving others was just part of who I was, who I'd been for so many years, and I never questioned it. I just did it. And I truly believe God blessed me and others through my efforts, and sometimes, even through my sacrifices.

Fast-forward a bit to last year. It's now 2016. I have been married over 10 years. I have 3 children. I am a full-time homeschool teacher, bearing (with God's help, and my husband's gracious support) the burden of my childrens' educations, a responsibility that I do NOT take lightly. My life continued to evolve and the demands for my time were beginning to spiral out of control.

So tell me: Which do you think would God honor more?
Focusing my time and energy on my marriage, or spending time serving in one (okay, really, several) ministries?
Preparing homeschool lessons for my children, or spending hours as a volunteer photographer for my childrens' various activities?
Deepening my walk with the Lord through an immersive 3-day prayer and Bible study experience, or baking for 3 days straight to help raise money for a non-profit organization?
Let me be clear: there are no WRONG ways to serve God. At least, that's what I believe. But sometimes, in all of the serving, in all of the giving, in all of the thinking you're doing the right things, God can show up in unexpected ways.

Let me give you just one (of MANY) examples: I never in a million years would have expected God to call me out of the Worship ministry at my church. I had served as a relatively integral part of our worship team--on piano/keys--for over 20 years. TWENTY YEARS, people. And I loved every. single. minute. of it. I had a purpose, and it was a good one! Helping to lead others to the Lord through worship was something I felt God just had to bless, right?

But at what cost?

This is where I get ohsovery real with y'all. It's something I haven't really shared with anyone, I haven't brought attention to it through facebook posts, and I definitely haven't blogged about here. But 2015 and 2016 brought the strongest and hardest marital struggles I had ever experienced. I'm not going to get into details here, but let's just say that my marriage was suffering. Like, really suffering. Satan had his grip on us and was throwing everything possible at us to pull us apart. I honestly can't even discuss this beyond what I've said already as I can't bring myself back to that place to talk about it. It's still too raw and too deep. But my point in mentioning it is this: I put my time and effort and energy into serving God through so many activities and commitments and various ways of volunteering within the church that I was no longer investing the time and energy in making my marriage a priority.

But I was still serving God, so He should bless me and my life, right?


I say all of this to say that sometimes, you HAVE to make a choice.

Sometimes, you HAVE to reevaluate your priorities.

Sometimes, you HAVE to say no.

For people like me, that's not an easy concept, and it's surely a difficult one to embrace. I'm reminded of the Old Testament, when Joshua spoke these words:
"But be very careful to keep the commandment and the law that Moses the servant of the LORD gave you: to love the LORD your God, to walk in obedience to him, to keep his commands, to hold fast to him and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul." {Joshua 22:5}
Am I loving God and walking in obedience to Him when I say NO to taking on a volunteer commitment for a church ministry?

Am I keeping His commands when I say NO to taking on a large project for our homeschool co-op?

Am I serving Him with all my heart and with all my soul when I say NO to ((fill in the blank))?

Saying no is okay. It doesn't mean I don't love God. It doesn't mean I don't love others. It just means that I love my God, my husband, my family, and myself enough to do the RIGHT things at the RIGHT times. This season of life with three-going-on-four young children who demand so much of my time just isn't the right time for me to say yes to ALL.THE.THINGS. It just isn't. And that's okay!

It's taken me almost 10 years to figure that out.

It really is OKAY.

I love my husband. I love my children. And I want to be the VERY BEST wife and mother I can be. And that takes time. It takes commitment. It takes making my husband and kids a priority.

And I'm perfectly okay with that.

So please know that yes, I love to help. I love to serve. And I love to be God's hands and feet to make a difference in the lives of those He calls me to serve. But please also know that God can (and has and will!) honor my choice to say no sometimes so I can ensure my focus continues to be on Him and His plans for my life and my family.

Please also know that I'm not at all saying that you shouldn't volunteer in your church, find a place to serve with your children's various activities, take a meal to a friend in need, start a Bible study, etc... I just want to remind you that you should evaluate your priorities and try not to take on TOO much.

I know this was a long read and for those that made it this far, thank you! I am hopeful that this post has been an encouragement to one (or more!) who needed to hear it. Sometimes we need to be reminded that it's okay to say no, because taking on too much can come with too great a cost. And I don't believe that is how God has called us to live.

[[steps down from soap box]]