Friday, September 9, 2016

An Open Letter to the Moms of the Girls on the Softball Team My Husband Coaches

Dear Moms of the Girls on the Softball Team My Husband Coaches,

Even though our season just began last week, and we’ve only played two games, and still have ten more games to go, I feel it necessary to help you help yourself be a gracious human being by sharing the gems of advice below:
  1. Please do not permit your daughter to arrive at a game with bronchitis. We appreciate you telling us that she loves the game that much — to show up with back pain and her chest on fire — but we aren’t interested in forfeiting the rest of our season because all of our players mysteriously contracted bronchitis. Boundaries can be a helpful parenting tool.
  2. If your daughter has been upset and in tears late into the night because she didn’t get to play her preferred position(s) in a game, that is not my husband’s fault. You need to help her learn to adjust her expectations. With 12 players on a team, you should have expected this. It’s called rotation, and it will happen a LOT this season. Please adjust your daughter’s expectations accordingly.
  3. Yes, you are correct: My husband does sacrifice a lot of time coaching our team. However, he cannot be expected to teach your daughter everything she needs to know to be an outstanding softball player in only 3 short practices. Parents should anticipate the need to practice with their daughters at home if they are interested in improving their softball skills. Even if they have been playing since they were 4, there’s always room for improvement.
  4. I’m sorry if your daughter’s confidence was so shaken by her position toward the bottom of the batting order in a particular game that she could not connect with the ball when she was at bat. Please see #3 above. Please also recall the previous game where she was one of the first 3 at bat, which resulted in the same outcome. Numbers don't seem to be the issue here.
  5. Regarding your daughter being heartbroken at the thought of not playing for an inning: We are talking about ONE inning. Because we have 12 players. And can only have 10 (sometimes 11) on the field at a time. And again, this will also rotate throughout the season. It will impact all of the players. Everyone’s daughter (including our own) will rotate throughout the season, and chill on the bench for a single inning. This is called life.
  6. Let me remind you: We’ve played only TWO games this season. Apparently you have not provided my husband with an adequate opportunity to demonstrate to you that players will rotate field positions as well as batting order during our remaining TEN games. I’m confident that even though it’s been hard on you to watch your daughter suffer so terribly, she will have plenty of opportunities to play her desired position(s) and bat right smack dab at the top of the order. Trust me. My husband knows numbers, and he knows how to be fair.
  7. We’ve had 3 practices and 2 games. While we appreciate your daughter’s desire to show that she is a good player, if it were in fact true, it would have already been demonstrated by now.
  8. Do let us know what you expect my husband to do when the other 10 players’ moms send him an email asking him to consider giving their child more opportunities on our team. I’m curious to know exactly how he is supposed to appease All. The. Moms.
  9. Thank you for asking but no, there is nothing you can do. My husband won’t be persuaded into giving your daughter preference over his other 11 players. All of these girls deserve the same opportunities, and will receive the same opportunities. See #8 above.


The Wife of Your Daughter’s Softball Coach