Monday, June 28, 2010

8 Months!

Well, it's hard to believe that my sweet little Chase turned 8 months old on Saturday! Where has the time gone?? He's turning into such a big boy and I couldn't be more proud of him! I figured it's been a while since I've shared a little update on the boy, so here goes!

Chase has been seeing an occupational therapist (OT) every 2 weeks for about a month and a half now. We determined through an assessment that he's lacking a bit when it comes to fine and gross motor skills, and the OT has been a big help! After our first appointment, I started working with him on sitting up independently. When the OT came back 2 weeks later, he was an old pro at sitting up all by himself! He's not quite figured out how to catch himself when he starts to lean to one side or the other, but we're working on that. We've also been working on tummy time. Specifically, I want to get him to push up on his hands since this is one step closer to crawling. He still is NOT a fan of being on his tummy, but I know he'll get there eventually. He does a great job of rolling from his tummy to back (especially with his temper -- when he gets mad with being on his tummy, he's quick to flip over on his back!), but of course he has no desire to roll over from back to tummy. He'll hang out on his side for a bit, maybe, but has yet to make it all the way onto his tummy.

This Thursday we have a physical therapist (PT) coming out to do an evaluation on him. I've been noticing he seems to only want to use one hand/arm at a time when playing, eating, etc., almost as if the other hand/arm doesn't exist! I'm not terribly concerned about it but the OT and I agreed it would be a good idea to at least have an assessment by a PT to make sure there's nothing going on that might need to be worked on. We'll see what she says on Thursday!

The other big Chase news is that he has a cardiology appointment with Dr. Horne Friday morning. If you recall, it's been TWO MONTHS since his last cardiology appointment! Although I've loved having two months of NO doctor's appointments, the heart mom in me is very nervous and somewhat scared that they will find "something" on Friday. They'll check his o2 saturation, his blood pressures and pulses, and of course do an echo. I've been praying already that they don't find anything and that his heart is functioning as wonderfully as ever and his valves aren't leaking and his artery patches are holding nicely. It's crazy to think of how our world can be turned upside-down in the blink of an eye if this appointment reveals anything that would need to be addressed. That would obviously require an unplanned trip to Charleston, possibly a heart cath, and who knows what else! But right now I'm going to try NOT to worry and NOT to think of all of the "what if's" that could happen. I keep reminding myself that my job is to LOVE LOVE LOVE my boy every second of every day with all that I have in me since we, like everyone else, aren't promised tomorrow. If you think about it, please say a prayer for this appointment Friday morning, for Chase to have an excellent report and for me not to go too crazy with the waiting and worrying. :)

Also on the horizon is Chase's dedication at our church, which I happened to (purposely) schedule for the same day as LO's 3rd birthday (when all of the out-of-town family will already conveniently be in town)! So yes, I'm going to be QUITE busy over the next 4 weeks trying to get everything lined up for a dedication AND a birthday party. Good times!!!

Oh, and last night hubs and I put Chase in his walker for the first time and he was so cute! He really liked it and was already scooting himself around a little bit within minutes! See how precious?

I also had to share this pic of him from the pool the other day. Such a cute little dude!!!

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Date Night? What's That?

WARNING: This post is pretty long. And somewhat sappy. Read at your own risk!

Date night? What's that?

No, really. What is that?

It's been well over a year (for obvious reasons) since hubs and I had a real date -- you know, the kind without kids? The kind that takes some level of planning? The kind that reminds you that you're a couple and not just parents?


I decided it was time to make it happen.

I started planning about 3 weeks ago. I knew I wanted to have a special date night with the husband, and I knew I wanted it to be a surprise, and I knew it was going to take some serious time and planning. So the first thing I did was line up babysitters. Yes, plural, as in more than one. It was sort of a prerequisite for us. It would be the first time we'd leave both kids with someone other than one of us, and we had already talked long and hard about this over the past several months. We knew we wouldn't feel comfortable leaving the kids with ANY one person -- yes, we're overly cautious and probably somewhat OCD. But that's how we roll. So anyway, I lined up the babysitters, who happened to be my mom, my sister and my wonderfully sweet niece (more of a playmate for LO than a babysitter, of course). We figured out a night that would work for them and I began my planning.

I'll fast-forward through the weeks of preparations and just get down to the big day, which happened to be this past Friday. Hubs left for work, as usual, in his blue jeans and golf shirt (casual Fridays at his office). Once he left, I busted out the makings of my not-quite-famous-but-should-be Chocolate Caramel Brownies. They are so incredibly awesome that I can't even share the recipe here. Aren't I awful? Anywho. There's a little background here. Hubs and I used to work at the same building (but for two different companies) back in 2005. The quick, boring story is I noticed him and wanted to "woo" him. We had some mutual friends, who happened to work in the same area as he did. So I'd whip up some of these delicious brownies and use them as an excuse to head over his way and talk with him (you may recall I mentioned my stopping by his desk to drop off my latest and greatest baked goods in this post). So I guess you could say I tried to woo him with my chocolate caramel brownies. The nice thing? It worked!!

So okay, back home, it's Friday morning, hubs has left for work. I get started making my brownies. I also make some handmade note cards while the brownies are baking. I write a cute little note to jog his memory about our early days of baked goods, cut the brownies and put 'em in a tupperware container, topped with a bow. Then I put the container in a small brown shipping box with some blue polka-dot (or as LO says, "coca-dot") tissue paper. I seal the box with shipping tape and put his name on the front in bold, black letters. Then I load up the kids in the car.

On the way to his office, we stop at Sonic and I grab a gift card. Suffice it to say there's another story from our early beginnings involving Sonic. I grab another handmade note card and write a little quip reminding him of that Sonic trip, then tape the gift card to the back of the note and put it in the envelope.

We hit the road again and drive to hubs' office building. I took the box inside and left it with the security guard, asking him to please let hubs know there's a package waiting for him, then darted out the door to keep from being spotted.

Then we drove over to where hubs parked his car. I unlocked it and put the Sonic note card on his seat, where I expected he would find it when he left during his lunch hour to run some errands. The kids and I then headed to Costco for some errands of our own.

Hubs called me not long after we left his office to tell me he received a mysterious package at the office... and called me out on my incredible awesomeness. ;) While we were talking, he was walking out to his car to run some errands, so we were still on the call when he found the note with the Sonic gift card. He laughed (it was a funny thing that happened that night at Sonic during our early courtship) and asked if I wanted to meet him for ice cream. Considering it was only 11am, I didn't have any food for the kids, and I was not going to let them eat ice cream for lunch, I declined. Honestly, I had a TON of other stuff to do to prepare for our date night and needed to get to it! But he of course was already on his way to meet us at Costco. We ended up doing some quick shipping at Costco and had a yummy (and CHEAP!) lunch together (pizza for him and LO, a chicken Caesar salad for me and a bottle for Chase!).

After lunch, I headed back home while he went back to work. Once I arrived at the house, I started working on a few more little projects. One was quick and easy: a "mixed CD" created from a playlist of songs that we listened to while we were dating, including the song we played for our first dance at our wedding reception). Then on to my next project: I happen to still have a PST (for you non-computery-educated folks, this is a file that stores emails in Outlook) from 2005 when hubs and I started our initial courtship. I had been reading through them for the week or so leading up to our date night (was looking for inspiration for the date, but also enjoying the walk down memory lane) and decided on a fun little game. I chose random comments from these emails and printed them on little cards along with the date written and which one of us wrote them. The "game" would be to read through them after dinner and try to have hubs guess which one of us wrote them. Some were funny, some were inside jokes, some were heartfelt and sweet. So I printed those little cards and put the kids down for naps. I needed to make another run to hubs' office, so I called my mom to come over and sit at the house while the kids napped so I could run out real quick.

The plan was to leave hubs a note (this one was a note card, that folds, and you write inside it, instead of just a one-sided note card like the earlier two notes -- this will matter later in the story) with directions to where I wanted him to meet me. I also brought a pair of shorts for him and two different pairs of sandals to choose from (it was SO hot that day and our date was going to be pretty laid back and not at all "froofy").

I drove to his office again and found his car. I placed the sandals on the passenger seat, set his shorts on top, the note card on top of the shorts, and his sunglasses by the note. I also put the CD in his CD player and queued it up to start playing "our song" when he started the car. For the record, the note basically said something like this:
Forget another boring night at home as parents...
it's OUR TURN to have some fun as a couple!
Meet me at 117 W. Blahblah Street.
I've left you a change of clothes so you'll be more comfortable.
And enjoy the music during your drive!"
I also wrote driving directions inside the card. It was as simple as turn right, then turn right, the destination is on the left. An easy 10 minute drive from his office.

After leaving everything placed perfectly in his car, I headed back home to shower and get ready. Of course hubs decided around 4pm he was done for the day and was gonna head home. I basically asked him to please do me the favor of staying at work until 4:45pm, and don't ask questions (our dinner reservations were for 5:30pm). Lucky for me, he complied. Whew! I finished up the last little things I needed to do, gave my mom and sister their "instructions" for keeping LO and Chase, and hit the road.

On my way to the restaurant, hubs texted that he was leaving (it was almost 5pm). A few minutes later he texted again and said "You are just full of surprises..." I figured he found everything in the car and was heading to meet me.

YAY! It worked!!!

I arrived at the restaurant at 5:10pm and sat down at our table. I gave the waitress a card that I wanted her to bring to hubs at the same time that she brought me the bill at the end of our evening. Totally random, but I also brought a box of Kraft macaroni & cheese. It was the first "meal" (if you call it that) I cooked for him. I thought about asking the kitchen to whip it up and serve it to him instead of whatever entree he orders, but decided I didn't want to inconvenience the kitchen staff so I didn't. No big.

So I sat. And waited. And watched for hubs. It was 5:27pm and I got a call from hubs. He basically asked me for directions coming from a different way than what I wrote in the card. I thought it was weird, especially since it was so simple, but I gave him the info and he informed me it would be closer to 6pm before he arrived. I tried to hide my disappointment, said it was okay and I would see him when he got there.

Oddly enough, I got a text a few minutes later from my mom telling me that hubs was on his way. Whaa?? That's weird. How would she know? So I called her. And couldn't believe what happened.

My sweet, adorable, loving, handsome, kind, thoughtful husband? Wow. He got to his car after work, saw the note card, heard the music and headed HOME. To our house. Not to the restaurant. But to our house. On the opposite side of creation as the restaurant where I was. Waiting. For him.

Turns out he opened the envelope and saw the note card. He turned it over, thinking it was another single-sided note like the earlier ones. Of course, it wasn't. But it did have a lovely picture of us on the front, and nothing on the back. So he heard the music, saw the cute card and thought I was sweet for doing that. Never mind the fact that there's a pair of shorts and two pairs of sandals on the seat next to him. Really. Just go ahead and drive home. It's cool. I'll wait.

I'll cut him some slack. He did feel absolutely awful when he got home and my mom and sister were there, and I wasn't. The look on my mom's face told him he had done something VERY wrong. He quickly changed into his shorts and sandals and hit the road to meet me. Luckily he was only about 20 minutes late. :)

Anywho, we had a nice dinner at a lovely restaurant. We talked. We held hands. It was wonderful. When they brought me the check, they brought him the card I left for him. It had his favorite picture of us on the front and my heartfelt sentiments written inside. I'll spare you the sappiness...

After dinner, we walked down to a nearby park and sat on a bench swing together, enjoying the beautiful evening around us. I busted out the little cards with our email sayings on them and we relived some of those memories. It was very sweet! Then we headed home to our sweet kids and to relieve our babysitting staff. :)

I'm happy to say that hubs was surprised with everything I had done and thought it was so sweet of me. It was fun to show him it's possible to have a fun night out together without the kids, and that the kids could in fact survive a few hours without us... ;)

Sunday, June 20, 2010

First Time for Everything!

Just wanted to share a little shout-out here on the blog that my crazy self just completed my first 5k yesterday! I've been working out with a trainer twice a week for almost 3 months (have I mentioned that here before??) and am ecstatic to tell you I've lost almost 20 pounds! C-ya later, evil baby weight and heart surgery stress weight! Yay! So I decided why not put myself through even more torture by completing my first 5k? Sounds like fun!

The race was at 9pm last night, which was my only saving grace considering it was still about 88 degrees when the race started. I can't imagine running a race in the dead heat of the day! Eeeew! So I told myself I wanted to come in under 45 minutes, and I totally succeeded! My chip time was 40:18!!! I figure this isn't half-bad considering I didn't even know about the race until 9 days beforehand so I literally did not train AT ALL for it.


Wednesday, June 16, 2010

One Year

One year ago today, hubs and I received the most devastating, most shocking and most unexpected news of our lives. It took me several days to process it. I wasn't able to share much with my readers at the time. Almost a week after receiving the news, I wrote this post. I remember how very difficult it was to write because putting it all out here on the blog made it so real, so definite.

This blog is about my family, most especially my children. And it was so much fun to write updates about being pregnant with Chase, how big he was getting, all the crazy symptoms I was dealing with, etc. But my world turned upside-down on June 16, 2009.

I had never heard of Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. Honestly, I wasn't even sure what a "CHD" was or how common they were or how often they occurred or how they were treated or... Seriously, I didn't know a thing and felt like I was blindsided by a mack truck.

Suddenly my life changed. My joy was harder to find. My faith was lurking somewhere in the background, seemingly too timid and unprepared to handle the drastic upheaval resulting from this news. My strength seemed to disappear. My thoughts were overwhelming as I reeled with the fact that my newborn son may not survive long enough to come home with us from the hospital. My fears multiplied as I wondered if he'd ever see kindergarten. My hope seemed to drown in the research and survival statistics I poured over. My life would never be the same.

Over the next few months, I felt God speaking to me. I know He had been there all along, and was holding me up as we received Chase's diagnosis. I know He was the One that allowed me to somehow drive home safely following that appointment as the tears were flowing uncontrollably and the sobs caused my body to shake from head to toe. But I finally started to get to a point of accepting this, this unbelievable, crippling fate, this was His will for my life, for my son's life. And all I could do was turn to Him to see us through.

I remembered how He gave me an unimaginable peace when we first learned we were pregnant with Chase. We had been "cautiously optimistic" during my pregnancy with LO because we experienced two miscarriages before her, and we were afraid it would happen again. But that peace! Oh, that peace. It consumed me early on and the fears of miscarriage essentially disappeared. Life was good! And then June 16, 2009 happened.

It took time, but as I was saying, I started to sense that peace again. It was there all along, of course, but I was in no shape to receive it, much less believe it. But God was slowly working on my heart. He was helping me to accept His will and before I knew it, I became "that" mom. The one who was dedicated to learning everything I could about HLHS. The one who was committed to putting all the plans in place and figuring out every last detail to ensure my son's safety and absolute best chance at life when he was born. The one who refused to feel sorry for myself (or my son) and chose instead to fight with everything I had in me.

Now here it is, a year later. And what can I say about where I am now compared with where I was this time last year? There are no words! God has truly blessed us with a miracle that we can see every day with our very own eyes. I wish I would've known at that time that we would make it this long, although my hope and prayer (as is every mom's) is that my son will live a long, full life. But I don't know what God has in store for us. I don't know His plan for Chase's life. This new world I've been immersed into is one where each and every day, each and every moment, is treasured. Each smile is captured in my mind. Each laugh is etched in my permanent memory. We aren't promised tomorrow. None of us are. None of our children are. This is all too well the reality of heart moms, but it holds true for those with healthy children as well. Never take a single moment with your children for granted.

I'm so grateful. I'm so thankful that God chose us to be Chase's parents. I'm so honored to be his mommy. I'm so blessed that God has chosen to give almost 8 months with our son (and I'll keep praying daily for more)! I cannot get enough of this sweet boy! I know we've got at least one more heart surgery ahead of us, and I know that Chase's future is uncertain, and I know things can be great and then drastically change for the worse in any given moment, but I'm going to continue to rest in the Lord, trust in Him and know that He will bring His peace in the midst of any storm that lay ahead.

Thank you, Lord, for my little miracle, Chase!

And really, how can you not love this boy to pieces?

Friday, June 11, 2010

Yay for Bodie! (sort of)

Check out the latest post on Bodie's blog... He has a bacterial infection that is being treated and he seems to be doing better already! Please keep this little guy in your prayers. You can see a list of his specific prayer needs on his blog.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Please Pray for Bodie!

Please pray for little Bodie, another little guy with HLHS. I have been following his blog for a while and he is in serious need of prayer! He's just shy of 4 months old and already had his Norwood. If I remember correctly, he was in the hospital for a while after his surgery, then finally got to go home, but was only there for a DAY before he had to go back to the hospital, which is where he's been since. He had a really rough time with a horrible infection (c-diff, for those of you who know medical stuff) but was making a wonderful recovery! In fact, he just moved to the step-down unit two days ago with all signs pointing towards HOME in the very near future! Unfortunately, he started decompensating and was moved back to the CTICU (similar to the PCICU at MUSC) last night and had to be intubated again. Please please please pray that they figure out what caused this and can quickly correct it so he can get back on track! He's such a precious little guy and desperately needs a touch of healing from God.

Here's an adorable pic of little Bodie from Tuesday when he was able to move to the step-down floor. Such a cutie! Please pray for him!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010


  • How is it possible a laundry room becomes the dumping ground for all things non-laundry related?
  • How do you teach an almost 3-year-old to listen?
  • How are couples with children able to act like a couple?
  • How come Chase's bedroom (which he is not currently using) constantly becomes a spare room/dumping ground to the point at which you cannot navigate through the room without tripping or hurting yourself?
  • How do you prepare for your first 5k run? UPDATE: I neglected to mention my first 5k is in 9 days. Ack!
  • How do you get your HDTV sound to come through your Blu-Ray surround sound system when watching cable TV?
  • How do all those crumbs end up under the kitchen table?
  • How can single-income families afford to send their children to private schools?
  • How do you decide between an at-home birthday party (for the 3rd year in a row) vs. one at Chuck E. Cheese's for your 3-year-old?
  • How do you handle disagreements in your marriage?
  • How do you keep lettuce from turning brown?
  • How does the white kitchen sink that was bleached and scrubbed end up dingy and dirty with smooshed banana crusting over in the corner?
  • How can you upgrade to iPhone 4 if it's only been 9 months since you purchased your iPhone 3GS?
  • How much stuff should you teach your 3-year-old before she begins preschool in the fall?
  • How can you take two small children to the pool by yourself without compromising their safety?
  • How do you know what happiness looks like?

Sunday, June 6, 2010

A Bunch of Random Updates

First of all, I just want to say "Praise the Lord!" for His amazing work in sweet Brandt's life! I don't think his website is quite as up-to-date as his mommy's Facebook posts, but that sweet boy is doing AMAZING with his recovery from his Norwood surgery. He will probably head up to 7C (step-down unit) tomorrow or Tuesday!!! Just to remind you, he just had his surgery last Tuesday! Can you believe that?! What a sweet little miracle! Way to go, Brandt!!!

So to update on things here with the fam, life is good! LO and I went to the beach for a quick day trip on Friday, while the little man stayed home with daddy. We had a great time at the beach and LO behaved surprisingly well considering she didn't have a nap all day! It was a long day, but oh so much fun! Here are a few of my favorite pics from the day:

Today we were SO excited because we were FINALLY able to take Chase to church for the first time! That's right! Our little family of four made our first appearance all together at church! After church we decided on an impromptu lunch out with one of our favorite families. It was such a wonderful welcome back to "real life" or "normalcy" or "whatever you want to call it!" I got to just be a mom, with two kids, and a husband, who go to church together, and grab lunch with friends, and not worry about all the details. In fact, we didn't even have any food for either of the kids! We almost always bring a PB&J for LO when we plan on dining out (she is hands-down the most pickiest eater on the entire planet!), and of course bring some baby food for Chase. We ended up with a quick stop at Walmart for some baby food and baby spoons before heading to McAlister's (yum!) for lunch! How fun to finally just be a normal family again!!!

Chase is doing simply fantastic! It's so hard to believe we still have another month to go before his next cardiology appointment! It's already been over a month since we've seen Dr. Horne -- crazy!!! We have ZERO doctor appointments for the entire month of June. What a concept! Chase is doing super with eating (no surprise). He's still taking bottles of formula (although not nearly as many ounces per day as I think he's supposed to, but I try not to worry) and is also all about some "real" food! He loves the fruits and vegetables I made for him (very Stage 1-ish), and I've started giving him some store-bought Stage 2 foods. GASP! I know, I know... I'm not making ALL of his food. Honestly, I just can't find the time in the day to do it! Plus there is such a variety of options out there and I really want him to have lots of different flavors to experience, so it's just easier this way. I've also given him some Gerber Puffs and it's so cute watch him try to rake them up on his high chair tray and get them into his mouth. He's still too young to have a good pincer grasp, but fisting it seems to work for him, most of the time.

We have an "Early Interventionist" or EI coming to the house every other week to work with Chase and give me some exercises to do with him to help him meet his milestones. He still hasn't been sitting up independently, so at her first visit, she showed me some ways to help him work on this. After working with him for just a week, I was already seeing a big improvement. When she came over last week, she was amazed at the progress he'd made in the 2 weeks since her first visit! He's sitting up independently!!! He did NOT enjoy working on this initially, but I just kept at it several times a day for short periods of time and he became more and more comfortable with it. In fact, now he prefers sitting up to play with his toys instead of laying on his tummy or back! Unfortunately, he's not so great at catching himself when sitting up so I still have to sit with him to help out. We'll be working on his arm strength and core stability over the next 2 weeks, so hopefully he'll make some crazy awesome improvements during that time!

Oh, in addition to trying to get him to feed himself puffs, I've also been giving him a sippy cup for the past 3 or 4 weeks. He's been doing really well with it! He definitely likes to chew on it, but he can already drink from it, too! Here's a randomly adorable smiley pic of him in his high chair:

We're having all kinds of challenges with LO these days. It boils down to one simple concept: LISTENING. Apparently she's suddenly forgotten how that is supposed to work! She's been driving hubs and I C-R-A-Z-Y!!! Now I know what you're probably thinking... she's almost 3 and this behavior just comes with the territory. But I'm not buying it!!! I don't know what to do! We literally took ALL of her toys out of her room and the play area and stowed them in Chase's room where she can't get to them. She didn't even care! I'm talking puzzles, play-doh, blocks, dress-up clothes, her kitchen, stuffed animals... EVERYTHING but her books! She doesn't care! I also bought a Responsibility Chart thinking that if she can accomplish things throughout the day (getting dressed, brushing her teeth, listening, etc.) then we would reward her and encourage her good behavior! This didn't work, either! We then tried limiting her TV watching to just 30 minutes in the morning when she gets up, and 30 minutes before bed at night. Did that work? Notsomuch. We even went so far as to take her precious teddy away (she's slept with teddy basically since she was born!) and guess what?! She didn't care!!! Oh my word, I am about at the end of my rope! I feel like I can't take her anywhere fun or buy her anything fun or do anything fun with her because her behavior doesn't warrant such things, but at the same time, I can't just keep her locked up in her room all day to stare at the walls! Wow. I sure hope we figure this out soon. I'm all open for suggestions, too, by the way... ;)

Every once in a while, she behaves well enough that we let her play with her brother. That sounds bad, doesn't it? See, usually she's completely wired and squealing and jumping all over the place around him and just won't calm down, so we don't let her around him when he's playing on the floor. But when she chills out for just a quick second, I'm lucky enough to get a cute little pic like this:

Well I guess these random updates are turning into one heck of a long post, so I'll end with this: a video clip of Chase I took tonight after dinner. He was in rare form, people! It was so cute and hilarious! He definitely loves to hear himself "talk!" Just make sure your volume is turned down... he's loud!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Pray for Brandt

Please pray for precious, adorable little Brandt. He's one-week old today and is currently in surgery at MUSC for his Norwood procedure with Dr. Bradley. Brandt has the same special heart as Chase, Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS). I had the privilege of meeting his mommy, Lindy, before they headed to Charleston for Brandt's birth.

You can follow Brandt's blog to check in on him and see some pics of this incredibly handsome little man. Seems the PCICU has already nicknamed him "Super B" as he stabilized very well after birth and was able to camp out for the week before his surgery without requiring intubation or any other procedures outside of the "norm" for a "classic" HLHS case.

Please continue to pray for Brandt today and especially over the next 3 days as his little body recovers from open-heart surgery and adapts to his new circulation. Also pray for Dr. Bradley as he performs Brandt's surgery, and of course, pray for mommy and daddy as they wait. I remember all too well what it was like in that PCICU waiting room all day, anxiously waiting for that pager to beep with an update on the surgery, praying continuously throughout the day for God's hand of protection on that precious child. Please hold them all close today and in the days to come!

I couldn't help but share this adorable pic from Lindy's blog... don't ya just wanna squeeze him tight?? Such a cutie!!!