Well, it's that time again. We head in tomorrow (Thursday) morning at 9:00 AM EST for Chase's cardiology appointment. We haven't seen the cardiologist since May 6th -- 6 months ago. As a heart mom, you're always nervous for these appointments, afraid of what they'll find during the echo and other tests. And you're concerned about how your now 2-year-old son will handle laying still for 20-30 minutes while a technician performs an echo. And you're anxiously waiting for the cardiologist to mention to "F" word: Fontan -- the final scheduled surgery in the 3-stage series Chase is undergoing to replumb his heart to function with only one ventricle.
I'm fearful of what tomorrow holds -- I'd be lying if I said otherwise. Those who know me well know that I live with a constant state of fear over my son's future every second of every day, and while this is something I'd never want to live without (for obvious reasons), it's something I struggle with keeping below the surface and not let it negatively impact my life so I can still function as a wife, mom, friend, employee, etc.
So yes, I'm fearful of tomorrow.
But I have hope. Hope in a Father Who already knows the plans He has for my son. And I trust Him. Completely. It's not always easy, but I know His will is all I've ever wanted for me, for my marriage and for my children. I'm so very grateful for each and every day He gives me with my son. And I will continue praying daily for His continued provision in our lives.
Please keep Chase in your prayers tomorrow morning. I'll share an update as soon as I can. And thank you to those of you who are still reading here... even though I've been very lame with my lack of consistent posting over the past few months. Your continued support is appreciated more than you know!
P.S. I'll share pics and a recap of his new toddler bedroom soon... I need to finish the valence before I can take the "after" pictures!