Wednesday, August 25, 2010

One of THOSE Moms

Okay, so I really don't want to be one of "those" moms, but I feel myself turning into one. Today is day 3 of preschool for LO and I'm SO HAPPY she loves it as much as she does. The unfortunate thing for me is I keep finding out stuff about the Center that a) I didn't know about (as in, it wasn't listed in the Parent Handbook) and b) I can't do anything about. I don't like being told what I can and can't do, especially where my daughter is concerned.

Okay, so the first thing is I wanted to attend all of her class field trips as a chaperone. I inquired about this at the open house last week and was told I can't. It makes sense in a way because there's limited space on some events. But THE reason I wanted to go to all of them was because I would be able to drive her with me when I'm attending as a chaperone, instead of her riding on a bus with seat belts but NO car seats. I just don't like this at all!!! I guess the "good" thing is I was able to sign up for 4 out of the 6 or 7 field trips for the year. I might have to follow behind the bus for the other ones...

I also had the (wrong) assumption that I would be able to bring Chase with us on the field trips I'm chaperoning. Found out yesterday that ISN'T the case! I just assumed I could bring him because I remember my sister taking her youngest on her older kids' field trips, but of course that was at a different school than LO's. Ugh! Just makes me mad because now hubs is gonna have to work from home or take vacation days to keep Chase while I'm on LO's field trips. Nice.

Okay, so the BIGGEST thing was something I found out this morning. I asked for a copy of the snack schedule and mentioned that I assumed I could send a different snack with LO if I didn't want her having a certain snack the Center is providing.

I was told NO.

I confirmed that snacks consist of processed junk like cookies, goldfish crackers, and even freakin' Pop-Tarts!!! I can't tell you how long its been since I've allowed Pop-Tarts in my house, much less all those other processed foods. Snacks at home are almost ALWAYS fresh fruit, veggies, raisins, etc. I Hate! Hate! Hate! that I have no control and no say in what my daughter is being fed at preschool. Is this normal? Is this to be expected?
Am I just supposed to turn my head and ignore it? Honestly, this REALLY upsets me more than the other "issues" I've pointed out above. I understand the safety issues with having siblings on field trips. I'm bummed I can't chaperone all the field trips, but I guess it'll provide me with a chance to work on my separation anxiety. But forcing my child to eat the processed snack foods she's not allowed to eat at home?! I hate the mixed message this sends to her and can't believe there's nothing I can do about it. I feel totally alone in my thoughts/feelings on this issue. Apparently I'm the only one with the problem. I haven't even talked with any other parents so I'm assuming they don't care, either. I knew the day would come where mommy's hands are tied, but I never thought it would be THIS soon!


Am I totally alone on this?


Kristen - Thanks for your support! Glad I'm not crazy for being upset by the snack issue. I actually emailed the Director herself and she was the one that told me, "We do not allow different food to be brought in unless it is a party day." Of course that opens up another can of worms... I'm not at all happy with the idea of her eating cupcakes or whatever that other parents bring in -- whether they purchased them at a bakery or made them at home. I'm over the top when it comes to cleanliness and germs when baking in my kitchen, and how can I know if other parents are the same way?? Ugh. I've thought about the allergy thing, but it'll be day 4 tomorrow and she's already had their processed junk foods. I just don't know whether to make a big deal out of this (much to hubs' chagrin) or just try to ignore it and pretend it's not happening.

Tim - Of course you're the voice of reason, clearly seeing things from both points of view! I appreciate that! I have no issues with the policy of not bringing younger siblings when chaperoning -- mostly I'm just crazy-disappointed by it. But for the snacks? Ugh. I feel like my back is against the wall.

Joelle - It helps so much to know that yet another mom feels the same way as I do! I really am mad about all of this, but I'm doing my best to process it and figure out what's best for LO -- regardless of what I'd prefer to do. It's only been a few days, but already I feel like we're "just a number" to them. I hate a "once size fits all" policy, especially when it comes to MY child and especially when it concerns what she's eating. I have been trying hard to eliminate all processed foods from our entire family's diet, and this just makes me feel like a total failure. I am in SHOCK N' AWE about your gym story! I cannot believe they recommend cookies and chips for snacks!! I'm not sure I've heard how raisins are a choking hazard, and what the crap is so "messy" about fruit and veggies? CRAZY.

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  1. WOW. I would be pissed -- especially about the food. My daughter's school (pre-preschool and preschool) has no problem serving her whatever I pack for her each day while serving the other kids the food the school provides (which is utter crap). Try telling them your daughter has a food allergy and see if that helps. Otherwise, I'd take it up with the director -- and tell them that is not okay.

  2. Alone? No. But, and I am so sorry to be the one to first type this, your travails have only just begun, at least if Public School is in your future. Something to think about: from the school's position on Chaperons with small kids in tow. It's a bit of a compromise for a designated sponsor to be distracted with the needs of another (non-participating) child. That's what they'll tell you. Now, they haven't listened lately to Helen Reddy so they don't know how many things most any Mom is perfectly capable of simultaneously juggling, but . . .

    I think you may be able to prevail on the snack thing. You'll have to indeed be "one of 'those' moms" but my experience is one can often find a sympathetic ear if one is careful on the approach. YES, she is your child, but it is their school. Too bad the two are now mutually exclusive.

  3. Oh! I'm glad I'm learning this stuff through you. I would NOT be ok with any of that! I'm planning on homeschooling... but if we put our kids in a public/private school I KNOW I would want to go on the field trips WITH Kru and I would ABSOLUTELY want a say in what they EAT!! That makes me mad for you, especially when you are really trying hard to change the foods your family eats. I'm sorry! Keep us posted on this. I'm really curious about what would happen if you said anything about the food thing (claim some kinda funky allergy that requires LO to only eat healthy foods!).

    On a side note, we go to Sportsclub Five Forks and you can bring a snack for your kids. The first couple of times I went I brought raisins, fruit, cherry tomatoes, cucumbers and was told that raisins were a choking hazard and the other foods were too messy. They suggest chips and cookies... at a GYM!! I'm SO GLAD I'm bringing my kids to the gym with me to teach them healthy life habits and am told to give them junk food! Ha! Not happenin.

  4. Wow, I don't even have a child in preschool and I would be so angry if they were giving her something I didn't approve of. I think that's just wrong. Especially since they are feeding the kids junk food. And they wonder why america has an obesity problem, look what they're teaching the kids to eat. I would protest as well! Just send something with her and see what happens! Or find a new preschool. I can't believe they feed kids that crap!