Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Bottom of the Barrel

I haven't yet found the perfect dress to wear to my sister-in-law's wedding this Fall. There really are a TON of gorgeous dresses out there! And since this is such a special occasion, I don't mind dropping a bit of dough on a pretty new dress. So I've been searching online, in department stores--pretty much anywhere and everywhere one would go to find the perfect dress.

I guess the good news is that I'm making progress! I may not have found "the" perfect dress yet, but I have ruled out several dresses that I do not feel would be a good fit for this celebration. Below I've shared several of the dresses that have been disqualified from my search. Now, let me apologize in advance if any of my reader(s) actually like any of these dresses or perhaps own any of them. To each their own, right?

Without further ado, here are my bottom of the barrel dresses... in no particular order:

These dresses just scare me. Plain and simple.

Nothing says, "Wedding Guest" like this beautiful "I-tripped-on-a-rock-and-fell-into-a-shredder-and-although-my-legs-
came-out-unscathed-my-dress-wasn't-as-lucky" number.

Okay, I just have something against pleats. At least a lot of pleats. Like an entire dress made of them. Pleats=No-No.

I actually think this dress is cute, but I couldn't help but wonder what the bride would think if I posed like this throughout the reception. Attention-grabbing, no?

Puffy sleeves. Makes me think 1982. Not a fan.

Hmmm... now what was it about this dress that I didn't approve of? I just can't remember. Wait--was it a wedding I was planning to attend or an adult film awards show? Hmmm...

Here we go again with the pleats! I mean, seriously! Come on, people!

I wonder if you have to tote around an extension cord and keep an eye out for the nearest outlet everywhere you go in order to keep the bright yellowish-green light hidden under this dress turned on. What a hassle!

Yes, I realize weddings are all about celebrating love, but I'm not sure it's necessary to broadcast it across my derrière for all of the wedding party and guests to see.

I think it's the whole "bubble hem" action going on at the bottom of this short number that caused this dress to make my list. I don't think I agree with poofy hems. Or poofy sleeves. Or poofy anything.

Okay. Ruffles. Again, something I have a bit of harsh feelings towards. One or two ruffles... maybe okay. But a zillion of them? I think no.

I'm not a fan of yellow. Mostly because it just doesn't look good on me. Other people could totally pull it off, but not me.

Wow. This one has a dual purpose! Sure, it's a dress--but did you know you can also help the clean-up crew after the reception by twirling around the room?

I was really just wondering where the rest of this dress is. I can only imagine wearing this number and needing to pick up one of LO's toys when she drops it on the floor. I think the wedding guests would be getting much more of a show than they were bargaining for...


  1. Absolutely dreadful but hilarious!

  2. They all scare me too and there's not one chance I'd wear any of them! I might stare in disbelief if I saw YOU in any of them ;-) What a great laugh for the morning!